Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 26-year old straight man who talks about his battle with his drug and sex addiction, having sex in the oddest of places, and his plans for his first serious committed relationship.
Where was the first place you had sex?
At the Redeem Camp, when I was 16. A bisexual girl had come to the teen church community to look for her partner, who was in the community I was leading. We looked for her partner together over the campgrounds but didn’t find her.
She pulled me to one dark corner and kissed me while I fingered her. Then she sat me down on a bench, unzipped my trousers, lifted her skirt and sat on my dick. It felt like heaven. We were interrupted by a group of three or four boys. She went over to them and kissed each of them, deeply. I was so confused. She gave me her phone number, which turned out to be fake. I was dismayed.
LMAO. Redeem Camp though. That’s a weird place to have sex.
That’s not even the weirdest place I’ve had sex. I once had sex in an uncompleted building. Unfortunately, a couple of area boys who came there to smoke extorted me when they caught us.
She later told me that she had seen them coming but she was enjoying the sex so much she didn’t want to tell me they were coming. And I’ve not even talked about the time I got caught by a man with a mental condition while having sex in a building.
He ran into us having sex in an empty school building and began to cause a scene. He then demanded that I suck her breasts in his presence and was very persistent about it. I offered to give him money before he calmed down and left. It was very awkward but getting caught was very thrilling for both of us, even though we were scared.
When I was in uni, my roommate suddenly became a pastor and stopped giving me privacy when I had women over. One time, he was banging the door while I was having sex and he came inside, despite me telling him that I was having sex. My woman said she was still horny, so we continued having sex with him right there, discreetly of course.
I’ve had sex in the bathrooms of almost every popular Lagos restaurant I’ve been to, restaurants I probably shouldn’t name. I like having a quick fuck just after we’ve ordered our food. It gives my date an aura and her skin has this post-sex glow. You should try it sometime.
I’ll think about it. Why are you having so much sex?
I think I have a sex addiction. I guess it also helps that women always want to explore their sexuality with me. I offer casual, non-commital and great sex if I do say so myself. I used to be addicted to drugs. I always used pills, codeine and coke to the point where I couldn’t control myself. I hated myself during that period so I channelled a lot of that frustration into something I could control — sex. I have sex partners in every city I’ve been to.
It’s not like I’ve not tried to control myself. During my service year, I decided to stay in the Christian corpers lodge to reduce the temptation of having sex but I still found a number of people in the lodge to sleep with.
Sometimes, when I’ve not had sex at least three times a week, I start to feel very restless. I’d leave my office, take a walk on the road, meet someone and on many occasions, I’ve gotten to have sex with them that day.
Interesting. Have you been in a committed relationship?
I’m afraid of committed relationships. They’re a big headache and require too much work. I prefer to keep it casual. Still, I’ve casually dated many interesting women and I enjoy the rush of meeting different kinds of women. I’ve dated models, ex-strippers and very wealthy women, who are my spec. My current partner, with who I’m presently thinking of entering a committed relationship, earns almost as much as I do and that’s a major criterion for me in picking a partner.
How’s that going?
Amazingly. It’s amazing because we like similar things like BDSM. I’m planning on booking us a helicopter ride so we can enjoy views while I finger her. I’ll tell her to wear a short gown, no panties. Seriously though. I love her and I’m willing to make an effort into making us work.
Wow. Tell us more about BDSM.
I’m a big BDSM nut. I have a lot of BDSM equipment such as ball gags, kitten masks, studded leather chokers, paddles, whips, and handcuffs. I always restrain myself from buying more equipment before my room starts looking like Christian Grey’s. At least I get great reviews.
What kind of reviews?
I know I’m a great lover. It helps that I have some lesbian and bisexual friends and lovers who show me how to properly listen to women’s bodies and please them.
How do you handle sexual safety?
I run full panel blood tests for STDs and STIs every month. I also ask my partners that I have sex with without condoms to run regular tests. I used to take antibiotics regularly but my doctor warned that it was bad and could cause health issues so I’ve stopped that.
How would you rate your sex life?
A strong 8. The partner I intend to date ticks a lot of boxes for me. We’re going to have a great time.
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