If God gave Nigerian parents clay to make the perfect daughter, they’d mould a God-fearing woman with six children and a husband she diligently submits to. Now, imagine God ignores their request and, instead, sends them a daughter who isn’t particularly interested in marriage and just wants to fight men all day. Chaos. Well, because […]
Nigerian parents will not respect you unless you give them a reason to.
Nigerian parents are known for being very no-nonsense, that is a given. But there are times when they do show that they are our parents and that they care about us. In this piece, we spoke with 5 Nigerians on moments when their parents helped them out of the craziest situations. Yes, we know it […]
Mummy, daddy, uncle and aunty, we shall not be beating around the bush. Here is a list of things you do that we do not appreciate and we think you need to stop doing them. T for Thanks. 1. Sending Whatsapp broadcasts (a.k.a forwarded many times) Please, make it stop. The broadcasts are always so […]
“I was excommunicated from everyone.”
Imagine your parents finding out you are having sex. How would they react? I asked 7 Nigerian women about how their parents found out they were sexually active. Here’s what they had to say. Lexi, 22 I was 19. I came home from university for holiday. One morning, I was preparing to head to the […]
Only people who grew up with Nigerian parents can complete these sentences correctly. Get at least 9 right to show you did. Go on:
The reason a Nigerian parent is angry at you can be as illogical as you doing your chores before they told you to do it or you simply being too happy when they think you don’t have a right to be. To better explain this, we spoke to eight Nigerians about the weirdest reasons their […]
Your Nigerian parents don’t actually love you.
Thanks to the internet, a host of careers that previously didn’t exist now do. From vlogging to digital influencing, to UX designing, and so much more in between, it seems there is an endless list of professions that didn’t exist when our parents were young that many young people have created for themselves and are […]
You’ll hear a lot of names in Nigeria. I mean, Nigeria has over 250 ethnic groups with a wide range of languages. While some names are very common, in different parts of the country, some other names are less popular, thus harder to pronounce. As a survival technique, many Nigerians with unpopular names modify their […]
Follow our advice and claim your independence.
If you have Nigerian parents then you’ll relate to one or more of the points on this list: 1) “It’s for your own good” They say this after beating you like you killed Jesus. Mummy and daddy, the constant beatings is why “half” of Nigerians have a BDSM fetish. They’re trying to recreate childhood “nostalgia.” […]
If your parents are Nigerian, this should be easy.
No wonder we all loved the movie so much.
You’ve probably considered getting piercings at some point in your life but the holy fear of getting judged by your Nigerian parents has reset your brain. You don’t want to be a “nincompoop”. Hey, get those piercings. We’ll show you how to survive. 1. Wear a hoodie every time: Hoodies have to become your thing, […]
“Does she have two heads?”
“All the good boys have joined gang.”
Introducing your partner to your Nigerian parents can be tricky. Especially if you and your parents see the world differently. While many parents want the best for you, there is still the fear that they may not completely understand your choice of partner. With this in mind, I asked 5 Nigerians about their worst fears […]
How can we trust anyone?
There are a few things you can do in a Nigerian home that, while not technically illegal, definitely feel like they are. A few people shared examples that you’ll definitely relate to if you grew up with Nigerian parents. Here are 13 of the most apt: 1. This cardinal sin: 2. “Pressing phone…” 3. Somebody, […]
Since every Nigerian parent clearly went to the same training school, all of us had frighteningly similar childhoods. Most of our experiences made no sense in retrospect, so we’ve made a list of 11 that will make you go: Why did that even happen? 1. When you got beaten for coming to school late. Hian. […]
There are a lot of things that make Nigerian parents angry, but there are some very specific things that irritate them beyond reason and logic. From seeing their child relaxing to their beef with facial hair, here are 13 things that make every Nigerian parent’s skin crawl. 1. When they see you sleeping after they’ve […]
With the reported cases of coronavirus slowly growing in Nigeria, people are becoming a lot more cautious. Unfortunately, a lot of out Nigerian parents are still not taking it seriously enough, and it is rightfully stressing us out. 1. When you first heard that older people are more at risk. Hay God! 2. You, talking […]
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in: